We Rated The Hundred Teams By Eating Crisp Sandwiches
As the second season of the Hundred draws to a close, we decide our most likely winner in the only way we know… pitting their sponsors against each other in a battle of the crisp sandwich to see which comes out on top when the flavour stakes are on the table.
Taste sensation or immensely unhinged behaviour, one thing is for certain: Every Sando Counts.
London Spirit | Tyrrell’s
Ah Lord’s, home of Eoin Morgan’s Posh Crisps Army, all royal blue kit, annoying ooo-aren’t-we-so-British packaging and actually (to be fair) quite nice crisps. Not great in a sandwich, though. Not this flavour anyway, which is perhaps the archetype of all posh crisps. Yep, these are posh prawn cocktail cwispies made by the Prawn Sandwich Brigade for the Prawn Sandwich Brigade. You have to ask what Roy Keane would think of these crisps. But then what would Roy Keane think of Lord’s? What would Roy Keane think of cricket? What would Roy Keane think of this article? He definitely wouldn’t like this sarnie, too weird and ketchup tasting. 6/10
Southern Brave | Pom Bears
Ignore the fact it loks like the ritual sacrifice of county cricket at the altar of the gods. Ignore the fact that you feel immense guilt about liking it. Ignore the fact that these are a kids snack and we had to buy an entire multipack just get them into this roundup. The crunch is excellent, and the oily, salty flavour is great too (in context). Names on the cup? Maybe. 9/10
Trent Rockets | Skips
Well, well, well. What do we have here... Delightful prawn cocktail vibes up top very quickly turn into just eating pappy Kingsmill and butter thanks to that weird and slightly inexplicable melting thing Skips do. Wowed me as a kid and still does as an adult. But the flavour: good, if ephemeral. Definitely potential to make joke about Trent Rockets’ ephemeral glimmers of greatness here, but the Hundred hasn’t been going on for long enough to make sweeping statements. We’ll stick to the crisps. 7/10
Northern Superchargers | Popchips
Eminently stackable, good crunch, and the sour cream and onion bangs. Could be this season’s sleeper hit. 8/10
Welsh Fire | Hula Hoops
Big, bold, and yet somehow underdelivering. Get you some Big Hoops between a couple of slices of a soft white and the Welsh ‘BBQ Beef’ Fire has the look of a jacked-up monster truck of a sando. In actuality, though, the structure simply leads to not insignificant wounds to the roof of your mouth as soon as the crisps break in half. Actually quite unpleasant. Tastes like Oxo beef stock too. 5/10
Birminham Phoenix | Butterkist
Popcorn in a sandwich? Horrible behaviour, shouldn’t be allowed. Bin. 2/10
Oval Invincibles | KP Nuts
You have to feel someone was going to get a rum deal here, and sadly for the Oval boys, it’s this sandwich. We went for Dry Roasted in order to try and stake a claim towards the PB & jelly sandwich end of the spectrum and it backfired completely. Kitchen’s a mess, nuts everywhere, need to hoover. Terrible. 1/10
Manchester Originals | McCoy’s
I never thought I’d celebrate a crisp on the basis of its tesselation, but look at us. These ridged boys know how to tesselate. Bloody heck they do… big heady hit of thai chicken goodness, that famous McCoy’s crunch and a likely place in the final for the Originals. Only thing holding them back is you feel the crisps have more structure than the bread here… 8/10